~ For Today ~

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window... darkness and the sound of drizzling rain

I am thinking ... are my dogs outside in this rain

I am thankful for... for this day

I am wearing... fuzzy house shoes, pj pants and oversized gray pullover

I am remembering... some fun times with my old college mates that I have reconnected with today on Facebook

I am going... to let the dogs in ... really I am ...

I am reading... The Partner (Grisham novel)

From the learning rooms ... cherish each moment.

I am hoping... to get alot of work done tomorrow at my office ...

On my mind ... Helping Mom get her life resettled

Noticing that... my house needs a thorough cleaning - ugh!

Pondering these words... hmmm hmmmm nope nothing there ...

From the kitchen... yummy homemade meatball sandwiches for dinner and the clean up still waiting for me ...

Around the house... thinking about refinishing my dining room table and chairs, distressed ivory maybe ...

One of my favorite things ~ the beautiful colors of fall.

From my photo memories ...

Dad just loved watching the birds on his front porch ...

(idea copied from The Simple Woman's Daybook ... posted every monday ... i was a day late - maybe next week ...)

~ The trees ... they are a changing ~

The trees outside my window at work are starting to look so pretty. The fall colors are starting to tints the edges of the leaves. Beautiful. I feel the need for a ride through the country to enjoy the colors. A ride, other than my ride home, which is pretty much a ride through the country - I need some new scenes!

I am thankful for this day, this season, this moment.

~ IT'S MAMMIE MONTH ~

DON'T FORGET TO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED. PERSONALLY, I'VE HAD MINE DONE TWICE SO FAR THIS MONTH. ... ALL'S OKAY, THEY JUST WANTED A SECOND LOOK SO I ENTERED THE TORTURE CHAMBER ONCE AGAIN TODAY. THE FIRST TIME, WAS DONE AT A PRESSURE OF "3" - THEY HAD TO INCREASE IT TO A "10" ON THE SECOND GO ROUND! CAN WE SAY OUCH!? It is scary to be called back though.

~ Its been a week ~

Okay, its been a week.

Went to church with my Mom today, didn't think it would be as hard as it was.

My Dad wasn't there. I couldn't hear him singing. I didn't get to feel his hand graze my shoulder as he draped his arm across Mom's shoulder during service while I sat beside her. I didn't get to see him reach over and hold her hand as the pastor began to pray. I didn't get share Sunday dinner with him. I cried all through church, couldn't help it. I miss my Dad so much.

Its not that I'm not glad to know Dad is in a better place. I just miss him. That's all.

~ I thank you for this day ~

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.
I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things that you ordain, and the wisdom to pray for those things you would change. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over, and help me to grow as you walk with me during the trials of this life.
And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately.
But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.

Rest Sweet Father

My sweet, wonderful, awesome, strong, loving, loved, adored, God fearing, God loving, inspiring, my rock, my role model, my blessing, the one who showed me Jesus everyday of his life, FATHER, passed away today.

It just don't seem right writing that. We were just so sure that he would make it through this and be home soon, playing with his dogs, cat, riding his tractor, getting ready for hunting season, thinking about his garden next summer, playing, living, breathing, sleeping, talking, walking and even arguing (some) with us for several more years.

I know he's with Jesus and that is my comfort. But I am human, I am flawed, I am jealous. I want my Dad here, alive and healthy.

He was loved, he loved, he was my father, he is my father. I will miss him.

Dad 10-7-09

The ultrasound showed no vascular problems to his extremities. Thank goodness.

The fluid in his chest is responding well to the breathing treatments.

They are continuing to wean him from ventilator.

They are still working on getting the fluid off of him.

The dialysis has been working well, but they may discontinue it for a little bit to see how he does. As the toxins have left his body, he is beginning to feel more pain unfortunately, or is it fortunately, it is a double sided sword.

Eventually, they will move him from CICU to a rehab unit, not sure when that will be yet.

Thank you for your prayers for my father on his long road to recovery.

DAD 10-6-09

Thank you all for your continued prayers for my dad and my family. We all appreciate it very much.

Just wanted to give an update for all who are keeping track of Dad's progress. They are trying to wean Dad off of his ventilator. They turned it down to C-Pap level yesterday for several hours and he did well with that, they will continue working on this weaning until Dad is on oxygen only. His problem with the fluid in his chest is better, breathing treatments are continuing to help.

He will remain on dialysis for now because his kidneys continue to need this help, they may put a port in, but would still be a temporary thing. Today they are going to ultrasound his extremities to rule out any vascular problems there because he has been unable to move his hands, legs, and arms (although he did lift his right arm a little for me one time). They feel fairly certain his inability to move his extremities is due to the extra fluid he is carrying there (he has between 40-50 lbs of fluid on him now - that is a lot to try to lift when you are as weak as he is!).

Dad is still having pain and they are really good about trying to ease his pain. His nurses have all been great, we have even gotten attached to a few of them and they with us.

When I started this blog a year or so ago, it was just for silliness and fun, I never thought I would be using it in such a resourceful way, but there are alot of friends and family we (the family) want to call individually and let know about Dad because we know they want to know and have asked to be updated, and sometimes it is difficult to make these calls, so I am glad this "blog thing" has come into a better use than just the silliness and fun it has been for in the past.

Thank you again for all who are continuing to remember my Dad and my family in your prayers. God is truly an awesome God.

Dad 10-4-09

I am home from the weekend with my Dad and Mom at Vanderbilt Hospital. I went Friday at 3:00 PM and Mary came this afternoon and took my place.



Dad is improving in so many ways, but everyday is a new day and a new problem to worry about. He is conscious and is responding still but no more than with his eyes and his feet. He did move his right arm, but not his hands. He moves his lips and we can't read them. This is so frustrating for all of us. If he could move his hands, he could at least write out what he wants to say. He is still on a ventilator through his tracheotomy - this is not permanent, but it will be there for a while, a least another week, maybe more. His kidneys were working and put putting out a good amount with good color, BUT they were not clearing his toxins, which can cause you to be unresponsive, so they have put him on dialysis. Slow and gentle - also not permanent, not yet. This is to clear out the toxins and bad stuff that he was not doing on his own. Once the dialysis started, his blood platelets dropped, meaning his blood thinned, way to thin, and his wounds started oozing blood, so they are having to figure out how to deal with this without giving him platelets, because that could cause him to clot, which could block the stent they just put in because of the heart attack after his surgery. Does any of this exhaust you yet? It is exhausting and Dad is so tired.



Now, just got a call from Mary. Dad has fluid in his lungs and they have started breathing treatment. I don't know how they do that when he is on a ventilator and a trach. They have told us pneumonia would be fatal to Dad.



I am not sure what all Dad understands about what is going on around him. We all take our turns talking to him and we just want so bad for him to be able to talk back.


This is my Dad, just wanted you all to have a visual of who you were praying for. This my Mom, she has been great, and I know its because of the prayers. Keep em coming, the battle's not over.

~ Just a little venting ~

Is anyone else upset about Roman Polanski?

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t know who this man was until this extradition matter came up and his crimes were made so public again after a 30 year lapse. This crime was horrible … see below -

“On March 10, 1977, then 44, he had taken Samantha Gailey, a 13-year-old child model, to the home of Jack Nicholson in Mulholland, California, where he said he was going to take photographs of her for the French edition of Vogue. After taking the photos, he gave Gailey champagne and a sedative and performed oral sex, intercourse and sodomy on her while she said: "No, I don't want to do this." The original charges against Polanski were "rape by use of drugs, sodomy, and a lewd and lascivious act with a child under the age of 14". As part of a plea bargain Polanski got it reduced to "sexual intercourse with a minor". (copied)

Over 138 people in the film industry have signed a petition against the arrest; citing the crime was so long ago, he has been through so much, etc. (FYI, he survived communist Poland, his mother died in a concentration camp, his wife Sharon Tate was murdered by the Charles Manson cult). Wow, that is a lot to live through and I hate that he did, but I’m sorry, since when does going through a lot pardon you from doing a crime as horrendous as above outlined? Whoopi Goldberg on The View kept saying, he wasn’t charged with “rape” just [did you get the “just”] sexual intercourse with a minor, uh wrong Whoopi, that is just was he and his lawyers plea bargained this heinous crime down to. Whoopi let me down, as did Debra Winger, Natalie Portman, and so many others. What a sad world we live in today. I usually live inside my safe little bubble and don’t let the big outside world make me so upset, but this story just pierced my bubble a little bit.

I was 13 once, I can’t imagine the horror of this crime; I have a daughter who was 13 once, I cringe even writing it.

One thought that keeps coming to me, is, how many other times did he do this and get away with it? Can you be a child molestor only once? Someone that powerful and well funded? It makes me sad for the other unknown victims.

Sorry, I am venting. This is upsetting and I guess I needed something to think about to get my mind off of my Dad for just a little while.

Saw this in one of the articles: “Fugitive. Child. Rapist. Just keep saying it until it sinks in. I'll wait.” (copied)

Daddy is wiggling his toes!

Dad is responding. He is blinking his eyes in response to questions and he has wiggled his toes when asked. I just got the call and I have sat here for five minutes laughing and crying. Hallelujah and again Hallelujah!

Dad Update

Dad's been taking breaths on his own in addition to the ventilator; and his organs have shown signed of improvement. He is supposed to get a tracheotomy today, so his airway tubing will be in his throat not his mouth as it is now. This was agitating him. He swallowed yesterday which is a good sign. He has his feeding tube in. He is still at high risk for infection. They are still very concerned about him neurologically - need him to be more responsive.

Still can't talk to us. They had about 15 IV bags of medicines at the beginning and they are down to 4 at last count.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

" I am cool "

A younger relative of mine told me this week that we (my husband G and myself) are cool; "like young people in old people bodies". I know this was relayed as a compliment and I accepted it as one, but I had to laugh at the same time. I don't tend to think of myself as old yet; but to 22 year olds, I guess we are old, and G does have a lot of gray hair (lol) I love you honey! I think it was said because we are trying not to let the techo world completely pass us by and we tend to carry our gadgets around with us if we are going to be someplace for a while like the hospital. Gary had his laptop and his Ipod ITouch, I had my Microsoft Zune. We knew we were going to be at the hospital for a while. Some people bring books, we brought gadgets ... actually I had a book too.

And we are cool. Thank you Isaac and Stephanie.