Saturday, August 28, 2010

~ Sometimes Dreams are Cruel ~

I am on a float in river, tied off to a boat. People fishing from the boat and a young boy hooked a giant size otter and reeled it in; as it was being reeled in past me, I looked into it’s bright blue eyes and told it how sorry I was that it had been hooked and how sorry I was they were not going to let it loose; the otter looked back at me with sad eyes and said that was okay, it just hoped they went ahead and finished him off if they were just going to let him die anyway.

*Flash forward a storm is coming up on the water causing huge waves, the boat takes off with me still on the raft and we are being tossed everywhere with waves as tall as buildings crashing all around us. I think they have forgotten I am on a raft tied to the boat, so I just hang on as well as I can.

*Flash forward and the boat turns into a car and I am in the backseat, we are crashing off a wave onto an interstate highway filled with 18 wheeler trucks, we are having to swerve in and out before our car finally levels out.

I wake up I am in the back seat of my parents car and I think I am dreaming, I look around and rub my arms realize I am not dreaming - this is real. I ask Mom where we are going, she never answers and then I look over and Dad is driving and staring straight ahead, it takes me a second, but then I remember, wait, Dad is gone, died last year, I start calling Dad? Dad? Daddy?!? DADDY DADDY !!!! he never turns toward me and then his faces starts to distort and not look like him anymore.

Then I am sobbing, hard body shaking tears and Gary is rubbing my arm, asking me whats wrong and telling me its okay, its okay, I am still crying and I realize its 5:38 AM August 28, 2010, I am in my own bed, my Dad has been gone for 9 months and 20 days and I feel like I have just found out he died.

No comments: